396: I’ll Do Anything

Unreleased (1992)
This sprightly tap-dance number was written for the movie of the same name and was elegantly crafted to appear weightless like an Ottoman mosque. Unfortunately it suffered the same fate as the rest of the songs Prince penned for the film, dumped after test audiences reacted against the movie being a musical production. Some of the tracks resurfaced on later albums but I’ll Do Anything got relegated to the Vault to fester – a harsh destiny for such a fleet-footed slice of nimble pop. The lyrics are similar to A Tribe Called Quest’s What? which was released the previous year and two of the three things that Prince lists he would do for you are falling off the Eiffel Tower and painting a beard on the Mona Lisa. I haven’t seen the film so I don’t know if this French connection is apt but maybe he was going through another Francophile Parade phase in 1992. In the same year he wrote Paris 1798430 for Tevin Campbell and wanted you to imagine starring with him “in a movie called ‘Amour'” in The Continental, so c’est possible. It’s a shame this song never made it to Hollywood but it’s probably for the best – when I close my eyes I imagine the winged messenger of the gods dancing an intricate ballet with an entourage of Lionel Messis and the ghost of Phife Dawg. What I don’t imagine is Nick bloody Nolte.