94: A Love Bizarre

Romance 1600 (1985)
In this 80s pop masterpiece, Sheila E and Prince ride a silver swan through the night sky, leaving behind contrails of purple ice crystals as a thousand narwhals carve your name amongst the stars. The album version is over 12 minutes long and whispers messages which can’t be grasped by transient minds. Clear your head of all thoughts and let the saxophone rewrite your genetic code while you unlock new levels of euphoric bliss. It’s the kind of track that could have landed anywhere in 1985: Around The World in a Day; The Family; An early configuration of Parade; The Krush Groove soundtrack. But A Love Bizarre was gifted to Sheila E to rescue her sophomore album from mediocrity. I’m a fan of Romance 1600 but it would be infinitely more listenable if they also gave Dear Michaelangelo this extended treatment and ditched all the other songs to create a Fela Kuti-style two-track album symphony.

159: The Glamorous Life

The Glamorous Life (1984)
Sheila E spins her debut album’s highlight into an extended mix of percussive, tantric bliss – a trick she’ll perform again with A Love Bizarre on her follow-up lp. The Glamorous Life single was Ms Escovedo’s first release and to mark the occasion Prince christens it by popping his saxophone cherry and also giving Lisa’s brother David his first outing (on cello). In 2005 the Pussycat Dolls threatened to tarnish the melody with their taunts of “don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me…” Don’t Cha may have climbed higher in the charts and reached more ears but The Glamorous Life is impervious to such base attacks. It exists on a higher plain. An eagle soaring above the muck and thistles of chart fodder. I heard it playing in an antique market once and it was like spotting a kingfisher. Forget the glamorous life, I’m happy with this one where mundanity can be punctured by a moment of beauty darting out of the shadows at any time.

302: Dear Michaelangelo

Romance 1600 (1985)
Sheila E gets the official writer’s credit but they’re fooling no-one, this is a Prince composition from root to branch. Created on the road during the Purple Rain tour, Dear Michaelangelo (sic) is a masterpiece marred only by the abrupt ending (which was possibly lost in a land-grab by the gargantuan A Love Bizarre). I always feel sad when the sax solo finishes as I know the plug is about to be pulled. Maybe it was the only way they knew how to stop this snowballing behemoth of dreamy pop, penned by a 20th Century Renaissance man but crafted by Sheila into one of her finest moments. It’s questionable why it was the B-side on the album’s second single, instead of the A-side though. It’s like if a Vatican City tourist brochure decided to lead with photos of the Sistine Chapel floor.

425: Noon Rendezvous

The Glamorous Life (1984)
Officially this list doesn’t take into account the rabbit warren of Prince’s live output so this charting is for Sheila E’s track on The Glamorous Life, the only studio recording in circulation. However, try as I might to assess it in vacuo, once you hear Prince’s sumptuous 1984 performances of this co-written song the released version becomes transformed. Enriched. An added tonality appears, altering it forever. Ghost memories of Prince’s Santana-infused guitar flood in, swathing the track in animating vapours whilst the “sitting in this cafe, waiting for my baby” mantra loops around your head like a phantom Ouroboros. Sheila’s guitar-free Noon Rendezvous is too sterile and way too short to carry Prince’s Purple Rain vibes and off its own steam fails to uproot many trees, but in lieu of the real deal it’s a worthwhile methadone substitute.